I didn't sleep well last night, 4 hours maybe, I was tense from the writing and felt bad about how I had acted,
I talked to my son today about my crankiness yesterday. I sad I was sorry. I had said that to him yesterday too, while I was being cranky, and begging him to just let me work on my writing.
It is hard for me to give them the attention they desire, husband, son, sometimes even the cat. It is a struggle for me. They can seem like buckets with holes in them, no matter how much I think I am putting in, they never seem to get full.
I don't need that level of attention, of interaction. I have never had it. I desire more quiet and space. It is partly how I naturally am, and partly how I had to be. I tend to find this need of theirs confusing. I love spending time with Cheese, but I also need to work on my own projects, and have space, and time, and quiet. And at times I find it hard to work out, giving myself what I need, and making sure they feel loved and cared for.