46,481
ugh, feel strange, just finished scene(s) I didn't know would be there, which I guess is sort of the point of NaNoWriMo, but I havn't been enjoying the surprises I've written. Usually I know where the story is going, and generally what is going to happen, but when i don't know what happens in a space, and then something I hadn't expected happens, rather than feeling, "wow that was cool the story has a life of its own." I'm feeling this time through like, I don't know what I am doing, or if I should be doing it. Is this scene a real scene, something that really does, should be happening, or is it, just the desperate reachings of a NaNoWriMo-er searching for words, any words?  Well, of course, I don't know, and I wont know till NaNo is over, and I have time to go back over it.  But what really is concerning me, is the tone of the thing, I hate sad stuff, and while the story is certainly romantic, what the heck is up with all the sad stuff happening? Freakin depressing fairytale.

37,808
didn't quite make up my word count, from yesterday.  I didn't write at all yesterday, by the time I had time, it was 8pm, and I was having trouble staying awake.
Still I am pleased with the progress that I did make today, I am just finishing up now, which is way too late, but I was procrastinating getting into a scene which I didn't want to write. Even after I started writing today, I found plenty of words to stall with to keep me out of the scene, but I did eventually get there, and have written most of it.
Oh, and typing of which, I have decided that I best not make 50,000 my goal, but instead make getting to the end of the story my goal, otherwise, I might just throw all kinds of irrelevant scenes at the screen in order to keep myself from having to write the hard stuff, (whatever is painful, a.k.a sad, or makes me uncomfortable).
ugh, the research book I was reading yesterday (while my car was getting worked on), was sooo boring. Usually when I do research, I find it interesting, and inspiring, and these little light bulb sparks go off in my brain of ideas I can use, so many, like my  mind is a field of fireflies. But so far here...um one little firefly and I can't think of that much I can do with one little firefly.

P.S
You know what I love, I love that progress bar thingy they have at NaNoWriMo, I have one too, but their's is more official, and makes me feel more accomplished when I put my numbers in, and hit update. It's like magic.

ut oh, husband just went up to bed and swore, seems washing all the bed linens is only appreciated by othes if you then, remake the bed. Guess I best put the sheets on the bed!

34,939
8:30 pm on thursday.  Just barely made my word count. It has been a busy day with nothing happening at its usual time. I am glad though that I went to the far away library to get a book for research so hopefully I will find the time to read some of it tomorrow.

33,000
yesterday's writing made me uncomfortable, today's made me cry.  Surprising really, I knew yesterday or the day before that the pet would die, while main character was away, but today for some stupid reason i actually wrote the scene in, and my main character(Lily) was very upset, and I had the fun of finding myself crying over what upset her.  Well at least in doing so I found out for sure whether it was a cat or small dog, I was open to either, but her words where all for the loss of a cat, so that's that. Actually when she was talking about him, i saw him, some orange colored, tiger patterned being, not what I would have chosen. But now I doubt that I can change him. Hmm, I wonder if I will at least get to name him, she failed to mention his name.

31,286.  When I started I only expected to greet 30,000 by the end of this month, so to have met that number already, I already consider the venture a success.  That said, today my words created a scene I am not at all sure I will keep in the story.  I was not comfortable when I wrote them, and I didn't do the scene well, but I knew I needed to write it, to get it out there, so I can look it over later and decide. I had intentionally skipped over it yesterday.  It's an "intimate" scene, and I'm just not sure I want that sort of thing in my stories.  I mean an allusion to, okey dokey, a kiss, an embrace, a fade to darkness, but this was a little too um...you know. My other two stories are more young on the young adult scale, and so have none of that, this one is more teenage girl-ish.  I'm just not sure.  But whatever, this is NaNoWriMo, so I wont be spending any time tomorrow reading over it and fretting, instead, I'll move on, in a mad dash to the next scene, on and on, till I reach the end. Then and only then, will I go back, and in any real way, wonder about what the heck I've written.

24,748  so tired, a long way past my bedtime.  My days have been too hectic for me lately, so that I've ended up having to exercise or write, at times when I normally would have been in bed.  Hopefully, that wont be the case tomorrow, or the next, or...   And now I am so tired, that it seems like so much effort to get ready for bed, almost too much of an effort.  I hate that, when I am so tired, that I end up getting less sleep because it seems like so much work to get up, and straighten things up, and go brush and floss, and take out my contacts and wash my face, and...
oh well, best get started with it already.
goodnight

funny about yesterday's mention of missing sleep, last night was one of the weirdest attempts at trying to sleep ever.  I didn't exercise yet today, so I have to go do that now, otherwise I would tell my story of sleepless woe.
22,957 but that includes things like lines that go..maybe she will do such and such after such and such in the future or maybe she...(only of course the words written are filled in, not such and such). Which means I have questions, and different things I am considering adding but undecided on in it. Yep I have that stuff, typed in there right on the page, alongside the story, and I count it toward my word count.