Friday, November 9, 2007
Cheese and Taffy
(draft post from Oct. 24)
Sometimes when Bob is driving, pleasant day, windows rolled down, Cheese and I will catch each other's eye in the side mirror, and then one of us will make a face at the other, and the other will make a face back. So for a time, we will shoot silly faces back and forth, till I realize that while Cheese is tucked in the back seat and not very visible, I am perhaps visible to those whose homes and cars we are passing by, and to them, I would look like some crazy person making psycho faces at them for goodness knows why, so when I realize/remember this I stop. Till the next time we are out and about and I forget and we do it again.
I would like to assert that I am a person who does not swear. And likewise, or oppositewise, Cheese would like to assert that I am a person who does swear. Let's go back in time, to let's say about this day last week. I am driving Cheese to school, and get stuck behind a car moving very very sloooowly. I start saying stuff, not swearing just unpleasantness, but then I switch over to talking about how it isn't this other person's fault, I am responsible for leaving my house in enough time to get there on time. I go on to say it isn't nice or good to carry on so, or talk bad about other drivers, and then Cheese says "or swear". and I say "well of course we wouldn't swear at them. It isn't good to swear, we don't swear". He looks incredulous, "You do all the time!". me-" I do not!". C-" Everyday!". me-" no way.". C- "You do too". me-" I do not. I can not believe you would say such things about your own mother, your mother does not swear, swearing is unlady like, so your mother would not do it. your mother does not swear!" Cheese says matter of factly "well then you must not be my mother.". Oh the twinkle in his eyes. I think my mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe he would say that. (and to his very own mother!)
Anyway since that day, he has been counting how often I swear, he even catagorizes them as, 2 intentional, 2 non-intentional swears. Just today a bus was going real slow, I was waiting for it, because I thought it best not to pull out in front of it, but it seemed to be de-excelerating, and I said " 'ell mon, let's get going". And Cheese looked over at me, his eyes all squinty, thinking. I said "it wasn't a swear it wasn't, I said ell." I think he bought it okay, or decided to let me go on it, though of course it was a swear since I said Hell man let's get going.
I haven't made it one whole day by his count, with damn, and hell in there, and oh shiiii--oo-uuugar. Hey I am clumsy, and I swear when I am in pain, or when my dinner has just landed on the floor.
He wouldn't get up for school on Thurday. Just stayed in bed. I talked to him a bit, told him it was time, scratched his back for a few minutes (which clearly made the cat jealous), told him he was running out of time to eat breakfast, then I left. I came back in a few minutes later and he was still in bed, so I started to pull him out by his legs, he playfully helped me along with this, till I was holding him up, then he decided he wished to go straight down, I do not have the strength to keep him up, so down he went. He was lying on the floor, the cat was quite interested as everyone else was on floor, and he on bed, so he came to join us, purring loudly. More prodding on my part, no results, so what else could a mom do? I went and got some cucumber and melon body splash (I don't use it, I don't like it), and chased him about the house with it, threatening to squirt him if he did not get ready for school (this worked). (So) I did this again another day with my lemon cream lotion, only I did put it on his arms and legs as at first he just ignored me and staeyd in bed, this turned out badly as he later stood in the doorway crying because he couldn't get the smell of it off, but I used wipes and paper towels till he smelled like a boy again.
Cheese and Taffy this morning. Today, is Friday, a week later than that incident, same situation, only when I got out both the cucumber and lemon stuff, he jumped out of bed in a hurry. And I chased him down the hall (as like the cat, he enjoys being chased). This started our day off in a certain sort of mood, one that would lead to him holding a pile of his dirty clothes, gleefully, threanteningly and then throwing them at me, and me, grabbing the cucumber spray and saying "Put them down the shute, or I'll shoot!" "Shute or I'll shoot!" (as I had earlier asked him to put them down the laundry shute). So of course I chased him down the hall once more (thank God the headache isn't present at present.).
On the way to school I asked him how that boy was treating him (the one who shoved my son in the face resulting in his glasses breaking, but then said "Oh I am sorry, I didn't mean to do that").
Cheese-"Oh him, he is fine, made these great brownies from his nose hairs and was offering them around yesterday".
Me- "You didn't take one did you?".
C "Of course not.".
Me-"But really, has he been nice to you, or mean, indifferent?"
C-"Very pleasant. He is drunk all the time now, so he is very pleasant".
Me "He is a happy drunk then? That's good".
C- "Yes, it's all the beans he eats".
Me-"Hhmm, they must ferment in his system".
Then I asked this child's last name, and Cheese was off saying his name over and over and making me do the same, as he thinks it is funny, something like Fiefenfurfer. (so that was this actual morning Novemeber). I know I don't do any of my parenting as the books say I should, but we do enjoy our silliness.
Saturday now, (from Oct. post date)
cartoons are on in Cheese's room, but he is down the hall, on a computer, taking personality tests. Weird activity for an 11yr old. And he came downstairs and made me take the Jung personality test too. I came out an INFJ. I had trouble with some of the questions, like whether or not I prefer to take a scientic approach. I was thinking.. "Do I like to form ideas in my head, and walk through them, and then test them out, before implementing them, or am I limited to being step by step,..or?" Then Cheese said "oh come on you make it too complicated, just ask yourself, would I rather have a mechanical robotic unicorn, or a magical one?". So I did, and I chose a magical one. So according to Cheese that meant I was not interested in the scientific approach.
I enjoy his take on things, he is a funny little man, bright, smart, mischievous, and the messiest germophobe God created.