Wednesday, September 12, 2007

update to posts

My third year of trying to grow morning glories, and as of Sept, they are here!!!!!
Usually the voles, and what not eat the seedlings. And even when earlier this year I would see a vine, it would just die in a day or two, but now here they are. I am so surprised, and so happy to see them.

Oprah made sure I cried and properly remembered on 9/11.

The soup? It is bad. I don't know why it is, but I will have to toss it out. My only regret is that I added more stuff to it in an attempt at making it more edible, which just made more food inedible.

The stuffed peppers? They are pretty good. I like the stuffing better unstuffed, so next time I wont bother with the peppers. Filling- diced tomatoes, paste, zuc, mush, red onion, garlic, spices, et cetera. I am very happy with this, because I didn't know how to make anything like it, so this adds something new I will be able to tweek and do other things with.

In defense of my cooking abilities, I did take some of the (white meat) turkey meatball mixture, I was preparing the other day, and without any recipe, added spinach, ricotta, feta, more fresh bread crumbs, basil, spices to it, and they actually turned out good. Bob even ate them over the other meatballs. It was shocking. ( It will most likely be nasty next time when I try to recreate it. But it was a pleasant whim that worked out, at least once)

While I was cooking yesterday, with my ipod on to steady my nerves (same thing I do while writing), I figured out why I was so nervous. I tend to freak out when I don't know what I am doing. (which sadly seems very often). Like when cooking the onions in the butter (for soup)- was I supposed to be browning them, or taking care not to? "These mushrooms don't look like the ones in the picture? The recipe didn't specify! Are those portabellas? How long do I blanch these? Am I cutting these right? Am I supposed to peel the zuc or just dice it with skin?" When I don't know, I get all anxious. I totally messed up in my attempt at crushing the garlic (looks easy when they do it on tv) (but I did finally manage to convince myself it didn't matter, as I sighed, tossed it in and hoped for the best).

Not knowing what I am doing, or how it is to be done, rattles me. Even with the (gardening/yard work) matting, tacking it down, "How do I do this? Should I cut it this way or that? Is this how I am supposed to be tacking it down?". I tell myself to just keep going, get the job done, that ultimately it doesn't matter. A general idea of what I am doing is good enough. But it really does stress me out. I hear myself sighing and feeling clueless. And tense.
Oh well.
It is rather pathetic ( I hate that word), I know, but I don't know how to not be this way. And it makes perfectly reasonable activites, seem intense and tiring. I wonder how I undo this? How can I get myself to look at things differently? Not worry over things that don't matter. Not stress over inconsequential things. Not feel all this pointless stress and pressure.
I know the feeling is unreasonable. But knowing that doesn't make it disappear. Just makes me feel like an idiot for feeling nervous, which makes me feel like a nervous idiot.

The yard is calling. No rain today, just wind. I miss going to visit other people's blogs, I am way behind. But I need to finish up the matting this week. (and have "conversations" with Bob over the fact that we need to buy more dirt)

Maybe this is just how I am, making it is the counter-balance to being so excited over little things like the morning glories blooming.


Vesper said...

Beautiful flowers!

For most vegetable soups you start with one (small) onion, one or two carrots, one parsnip and/or one parsley root. The quantities depend on how much soup you want to make. Bear in mind that these are not the main ingredients, they are just for aroma and taste.
Separately, bring to boil the water you'll use for the soup.
Cut the onion finely and grate the rest, then put them in the soup pot (Not the one with water!) with a little bit of vegetable oil. Stir them over heat, but for a short while, 2-3 minutes, until the onions become translucent (not brown!) Then pour the boiling water over them and when the soup starts boiling again, reduce the heat.
In maybe 10-15 minutes, you can add the main ingredients: diced potatoes, green beans (cut to spoon sizes), diced zucchini (I usually peel them), green peas, etc. It can be only one of these, or even a combination, why not?
Add some salt, of course.
When these are boiled, you have to "finish" the soup. In the green beans one I put some tomato juice (a little) then let it boil for a couple more minutes. For zucchini, I use lemon juice and some rice (you have to put that earlier, because zucchini are tender and are quickly done) - it's a great sour soup.
Others you could just leave them like that and add a spoon of sour cream when you serve them.
The green peas soup I like with the sweetness of the peas. For this soup I prepare the following: I beat one egg and then I add flour till it becomes like a pancake mixture. This I pour very slowly - you could use a spoon - into the boiling soup. Let it boil for another 10 minutes. You'll have some very soft "pasta" that goes perfectly well with the pea soup.
Don't forget to sprinkle the soup with fresh parsley leaves.

Taffiny said...

I like your ( notes), shows that you get the degree to which I am clueless.

I will have to print your info out, I am a little soup wary (weary wary) at the moment (but it will come in handy when I do try again.

I do not believe I have, as of yet, made an aquaintance with a parsnip. I shall have to arrange a meet and greet next time I go to market. I quite like the name).

I never heard of anything like the egg and flour thing, like pasta in pea soup (I am intrigued!) (I don't imagine it would go well for me, but I think I would have fun making a fantastical mess trying)

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

LOVE the photos. Glad they came through this time! The flowers, I mean...

Oprah will do that to you on many given occasions.

So reading about your anxiety... did you take a vacation this year Taff?
Maybe some time to relax and find some peace is in order.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Taffiny said...

Yes, thank you, I did, but I get stressed over anything, so I found plenty to get stressed out over just the same. By the time I am finally relaxed and ready to enjoy the vacation, it is time to start packing up the car and head home.