I don't want to

think about Virginnia Tech.,
what happened there,
those kids, their parents, the teachers,
but I can't seem, not to.
It hangs thick in the air around me,
suspended in each particle,
if I breathe,
I take it in.

(I do breathe, and over and over again, it comes in. How do I breathe it back out? How do I let it go? How can it be undone?)

I am going to exercise now, an insconsequential act. I intend to think of nothing that matters while I do it. If I can't stop really thinking, then I will have failed my intention. I will focus on a pound to lose, and a silly story, I know the pound doesn't matter, and the tale will be meaningless, but in that moment, my world will be smaller, and as such, I will feel, that maybe if I do this, and do that, that then I can control it. My thoughts will be simple and easy while I exercise, and I will feel safe in them. At least that is my hope. It isn't anything in the way of ambition, but right now, I admit, it is what I am reaching for.