stupid stomach pain is back

now I am going to have to waste time surfing the net for info on food intolerances etc.

I know, it is super boring to drone on about it so, but I like food, I don't like being afraid of it, so I am going to have to figure something out. so this is just me, thinking

Last week went so well, so well the boys made fun of me, "gee, all you had to do to feel better was come home". But I wasn't eating my usual way. During the week, I ate 3 avocados, 2 containers of fresh peach-mango salsa (with some corn chips and sour cream, and enough fresh cilantro to kill a pony), two jars of Alessi pasta sauce with eggplant, and cooked three small eggplants and ate them with it, 1/2 jar of favorite local marinara, 2 cream of spinach packages, and a big package of frozen spinach (added butter and salt), and my fav juice combo of tropicana OJ with some bolthouse carrot juice mixed in (over lots of crushed ice). I had my traditional fuji apple everyday, some days I finished off with two peanut butter girl-scout cookies which I added all natural peanut butter too (much to the horror of my son). I'm sure I ate other stuff, but I can't recall it. I know there were some dried fruit and nuts. I tried to eat some stuff I usually eat, but didn't want it. Had an aversion to chicken, meat, turkey, seafood, etc., which is odd, I was a vegetarian several years ago, for many years, but I didn't eat flesh foods because of moral reasons, and health ones (though I ate a fair amount of psuedo health food and junk food), I always liked the taste of chicken, roast beef, etc. so it was weird to not like the taste, and to feel sick and not eat it, because my body had no interest in it. Same way when I tried to eat a pancake, or muffin (had a yuk response). I felt good, was really enjoying what I was eating, but for something that seemed to have plenty of fruit and veg in it, it was a rather high fat, high calorie menu, and very repetitive.

This week I made myself promise, no more avocados, and to give the pasta sauce a break. And now my stomach hurts!!! It started last night, stomach blew up like a Douc Langur monkey's, felt nauseous (things I was considering for blame, bread, an egg, different brand of pasta sauce (1/2 cup it tasted very onion and garlicky, but there were those ingredients in the sauces and salsa I ate last week). Everything else I ate seemed like it couldn't be the problem). Felt fine today, had apple, 2 hours later stomach growling, decided to eat lunch, first thing I recall eating was two bites of bread, tried the mustard chicken I made for everyone else last night, didn't want it, tried the artichoke pate on bread, tastes just like olives, not awful, just not my thing, and already my stomach was giving me jabbing pains. I think this was before I ate any of the carrot, squash turnip mix, ( cooked with butter, brown sugar). And before I ate the veg burger. Because after the pain started I choose to eat anyway. I also ate some indian mashed veg curry, I liked it, but it wanted bread, so I did end up eating some, all in all I would say I had a slice of bread (it wasn't sliced but loaf). I don't want the problem to be the bread. I did have a flour tortilla last week, with an avocado and stuff in it, I was fine.

Ugh, I don't know, I hate this. Should I just eat last weeks menu again this week? I'm thinking so. There is a family lunch tomorrow with my Mom, and co. for a b-day. My stomach doesn't want to go. (what do I do?). We are eating at a relatives house. I wonder how bad it would be to bring my own jar of pasta sauce and just eat that. I suppose I could just eat what everyone else eats, and if I am in pain, well then, that will just help me narrow down my focus, and find the culprit (so I can eliminate it).

Well I guess I will do that research on food intolerances now, the one good thing about it is, whenever I do any type of symptom research I end up feeling quite healthy, there are all these problems I don't have (thank God). And also on the upside, I am not at all sick of the avocados, or the alessi sauce. ( a month from now, who knows, but today it's ok).

Husband is upset with me for not working on my book, I appreciate that (that he supports and is encouraging this part of me), I don't know what the heck is up with me on that score, the whole thing feels like its a million miles away, like the story and I are separated, one of us above water, one of us below ( or is it different dimensions?). When I seek to feel the story or feel motivation, I just feel nothingness. Over-all disconnected. On upside, did work out 3 days of past 4. Of course it was procrastinating doing house work and writing, but at least it was something done.