Tuesday, March 27, 2007

it is so beautiful outside

I wish it would just stay like this from now on. I feel like buying roses and digging holes and planting things ( See myself like Mikiyoshi, pouring buckets of seeds into the ground). But of course it is too early for that. Birds are everywhere. I opened all the windows. The sound of birds. The sights and sounds driving the cat crazy in a happy sort of way. I'm excited. I can't decide what to do with myself. I should dust and vacuum ( and certainly that is on the list, just nowhere near the top of it).

My Husband, who has off from work today, has already lectured me for not being a giving person, as I showed no interest whatsoever in making him breakfast. I told him I didn't believe in it, unless it is fruit (and for some people stuff like cereal, or oatmeal, or yogurt), and that I would gladly get him some strawberries. (I do make the child eggs on occasion as per his begging, very rarely I will make pancakes or french toast, my eggs are good, but the french toast and pancakes used to be horrible, so I had to improve them, they now taste good, but are not anything anyone should actually be eating. The son says "hey, these taste like cookies") I told my Husband that I never have misled him, I never pretended to be different then I am; I wasn't all running around doing stuff for him when were dating; I've always been like this. "Yes", he said, "but you would be a lot happier if you would take care of me". Me- "really?" Him "Yes, because I would be happier, and that would make you happier". I put my bowl of strawberries down, and looked over at him lying on the sofa, cat on his lap, watching Regis and kelly with me, waiting for his friend to call about going skateboarding, and said "you look happy enough to me". Him -"yeah, but I could be happier." (yeah, well couldn't we all). He is gone now, went to Philly for the day, skateboarding. Ooh, the sun just went in (or rather clouds are between us). He feels guilty for going. I didn't say anything. But I know he does because he said goodbye to me and I love you, at least 5 times (he is coming back, right?). One of these times I did say, "hey, you look nice. Are you sure you aren't going on a date?" (new dark green t-shirt, pale tan khaki pants, and green vans). Which freaked him out a bit. And he kept asking if I thought he was too dressed up for skateboarding. Me- "No". He came back upstairs and changed his pants, before saying goodbye to me several more times, and actually leaving.

Well as it is overcast now, I suppose I will go exercise, I will just do the mill, though I am sure it would be emotionally better to walk outside. The scale was playing its trick on me again today. About once a month I will get on the scale and will see whatever is considered to me my current, wish it was, working toward, target weight. And I will be like yeah! Woohoo! And then the voice in my head will say "Tiffany don't be silly, you know you don't actually weigh that" "I don't?" "No. Get back on the scale" and then I do and I will weigh at least a pound and half more, sometimes 3 or 4 pounds more. "oh". " Bummer". Today it was the pound and a half. It was so sad to gain a pound and half in one second. To see a good number, and then "ha ha, Not!". I can't figure out why this happens, I mean I'm not holding on to anything, or leaning on something, or anything that would make it logical that it would be less. My conclusion is that the universe is playing with me, in a silly sort of way.

Anyway I've got stuff to do

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