when he got home, "oh look you made a plate for me, oh and it looks so good, I can't wait to eat it!". I paused in what I was doing, and thought "what the heck is up with him?". Thinking, thinking, thinking...oh yeah! Someone ranted and raved this morning before he left for work, said things like "I am so sick of making food you people don't eat! I wont do it anymore, you want something you order it. Tell me what you want ahead of time, then I will buy stuff and make it, none of this spend my time meal planning and shopping and making stuff and no one eats it! I'm done. Done. You don't tell me what to make you, I'm making nothing!". Oh yeah, that's right, that was me. How could I have forgotten? I was in rare form this morning (with everyone). I did tell him I would make this meal, since I had already planned it, pesto salmon, pasta alfredo (trader joes), ginger soy carrots (trader j's), and there was asparagus but I ate all of it. Son ate some salmon complained whole time said he doesn't like salmon (well he used to), but was very pleased when I brought out the pasta a bit later "you made me eat that salmon and didn't tell me you had this good pasta". (darn right I didn't).
I think I have to be quite serious about the meal planning thing, because they are driving me crazy. And now when they don't eat something, I am not eating it either, so it doesn't get eaten. And our cat is strickly a cat food eater, we have tried to get him to eat chicken and fish and he looks at us like we're nuts. I wonder what they will eat tomorrow? I should go remind them, that they have to think of something. I really don't think that is unreasonable, I know he thinks it is my job, but I think it is enough that I will buy it and make it, and clean up after. Why do I also have to figure out what they want to eat? And they never want to eat what I think they should eat, and even when I try to make it with cheese or chicken encrusted with barbecue potato chips, it still doesn't go over well. And they haven't shown any interest in the food I am currently eating.
Speaking of which,the soy ginger carrots were good with the asparagus. I wish I could stop eating peanut butter for dessert though, it is totally messing with my hopes of weight loss. I'll have to see what the protein content is of this other food, I am eating some nuts and too much peanut butter because of concern over the usual protein sources I am not eating, but maybe I don't need to.
I wonder why I am wasting my time and energy thinking about food, and writing about it? I could be reading a book right now. I could be downstairs with my Husband, but he changes the channel to much, I will go down now, but he will complain when I watch Anderson. Why am I not writing, really writing? Where has Zaph/Koji gone? Is he not walking up the hill, on the winding path, and am I not supposed to follow? Like a low cloud, like a bit of mist, like the sunlight on his back. A journey which is mine to take, as it is his, over and over, till we know it so well, the story of our lives, together. He can not go one without me, he is suspended in time, and I can not go on without him, I am suspended in time. And why be afraid when I already know so many parts by heart, and why be afraid when so many parts are my heart?
Is it not I, who loves to watch things grow?
so say I
Grow
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