Monday, February 11, 2008


Remembering
This day in 2000 my Nana died.
She died exactly a week after my b-day.
This week I couldn't help but think often of this time frame from that year, how it all unfolded.
A dream came my birthday eve, with content to make sure I would be thinking of it this week.
And I suddenly started doing this yoga sequence in the morning, but I was having trouble remembering it, and couldn't find the tape, and when trying to think of where it could be, I thought of when I used to do this tape, and realized it was from that period of time in my life.
I am not going to write it out here, write about that time. I am just wondering what it is I am missing, her of course, but also something else, something I have yet to see, that is calling to me. From that time in my life to me now. Some message I need to receive, something I need to understand, and until I do, each year, this week, I will feel like I am holding my breath.
Until I do
each year at this time instead of remembering her life, I will focus on the week of her death.

4 comments:

Paul said...

Whoa. That's a pretty cool photo/image. Did you take that?

Taffiny said...

Paul,

yeah, but I doctored it, for mood.
I don't have photo shop but I can change over-all color effects with my computer.

There is supposed to be a post with it, I just haven't gotten that far.

Vesper said...

For me, the day my grandmother died is like a landmark. Before it arrives each year, I can think of her like this "she was still alive at this time, and we were doing such and such things". Then, it becomes much more difficult, for a while, but, after a few weeks, I can think the same again, remembering her in her life and not in her death...

Taffiny said...

Vesper,

The same here.
The rest of the year I think of her alive, I think of her life, I think of us, it is just as I approach that week, and during that week, that I instead think of her death.

It is weird how the years work, so that as you move on, you also move to the same period of time on the wheel year after year. Spirals...DNA strands..I don't know what image works best? But there is that connection in day of year, year after year, no matter how many years come and go.