Tuesday, August 7, 2007

what to reveal

Existing as words, through words. Creating ideas about oneself, an identity, purely with words, with the ones we pick, how we say them, with the topics we choose. I can choose only the pictures that create an image I am comfortabe with, I can show you the best parts of me, physically (using certain angles and lighting), mentally/emotionally (sharing only the good things), or I can show you the hard edges, and the ugly parts, the things I am not proud of, that which I wish wasn't there. I can show you it all, or I could show you nothing. I could present a different me, or the actual me, or work on creating, becoming a better version of me. Be ethereal, dreamy floaty. Be romantic. Be impatient, hard, cold, crude. Be practical. Be impractical.
Sliding across the page, slowly solidifying as I slide, forming, coming into being. Existing through words.

The truth is, while I try to be aware of the image I am creating of myself. I don't focus on the over-all impression. Each post is its own thing. Some are dreamy, some are confessional, some are silly, some are nutty, some are just keeping track of my day, of my garden, some keep track of whether I am or am not writing, some don't have real content. I am, my only known audience, so it doesn't really matter. Yet, there is something odd about it, this act, of creating oneself, in the blogosphere, both tucked away and hidden in the vastness of the world wide web, and out in the open, where anyone could happen by at any time. Regardless of anyone else, the picture I am creating, I am witnessing. I think that is why I don't stick to a theme, and my tone varies. I may wish to be other things, but I am not actually (actively) trying to be them, I am just being as I am, moment to moment. And since I am watching, aware of what I am blogging, I don't want to leave parts of me out, I don't want to say this is too harsh, and that too unflattering, to be known. I want to claim me to myself, as I am. Yet this is a blog, and it is still small pieces that I am sharing. I guess that is what this post is actually about, not what should a person show, but how much?


Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog and now I know you completely. We could go out on a date, Im sure we are compatible... or I could bring over my essential oils and my massage balls? Which do you fancy? Ive added you to my blogroll, which means I shall be back and probably drunk...

Taffiny said...

Oh dear, and that was just what my husband had warned me about. He said "fine. You want to put that picture of your tan lines up, go ahead, but don't come crying to me when you get all sorts of _____ offers". Actually I think one, only slightly inappropriate offer, is the perfect amount. Massage balls? Those words play out badly in my head, sounding more like a request than an offer.

I'm afraid I am quite certain we are not compatible, as I have seen your blog (only the one time though, I was scared off), and I am lacking some things you apparently consider essential. No, I don't mean oil. But these, I am not young, not hot, and not ample on top. (tis sad, but tis true). (but maybe I am being superficial as I didn't stay to read your content).
Oh and I don't drink (can you imagine?) It is like being plagued with plague. People run and lock their doors. But honestly I am dizzy enough as it is. And I am not at all averse to being found dull.

Your comment is here, so clearly you did indeed stop by, but I can't imagine why.??? I can not believe you would be at all interested in hanging around, whatever it is, I do, or do not have going on here.
Are you by chance interested in banter about gardening? Or hopeless hapless but still somehow hopefull, would be writers? Do you stand on your pedals? I'm all with the shock.

Minx said...

Taffiny, don't panic! Mutley is a dog of many parts. His saucy 'Day out' blog is only one of his many dog bones.
He's a sweetie, and is exercising his mad English sense of humour.
Thge reason he comes in, I suspect, is that he writes - check out his Alloted Span blog (link on my blog or in his profile).
And again, don't be scared - he is naturally flirty dog!


Taffiny said...

Minx, I thought as much but I just wasn't sure. Thanks