Saturday, November 1, 2008

I saw a beautiful man today

He had dark hair and dark eyes.
He was standing in line at Barnes and Nobel, I caught sight of him, and he of me, as I finished my purchase and turned to leave the store.

I am now embarrassed for my haggard and scruffy appearance. I only had an hour to get to the store, buy the books, and make it back home. So I hadn't bothered with the pleasantry of trying not to look awful.

I saw a beautiful man today.

The words float again and again into my mind.
I hardly ever see men that I think are beautiful.
Men that I am attracted to, sure. Men that I think are sexy, sure. Though both most often on TV. But this man I saw live, in actual 3 dimensional life (4 D), without make-up, great lighting, and that wonderful distance of celluloid and media that I seem to need to garner any sort of romantic, daydreaming, attachment to someone.
I am amazed that I saw a man that I found beautiful, who indeed is beautiful (at least in outward form), standing in line at our local Barnes and Nobel. I feel rather like, as I turned to walk out of the store, I suddenly noticed a white peacock, train fanned out, had been standing in line behind me. I feel a sort of awe. I try to restrain, contain the feeling, yet I feel it.

As I think of him a white peacock, a unicorn, something unusual and shinning. I fear that if he has had any thoughts of me at all from that second that our eyes met, they would be, 'I saw an ugly woman today. Suddenly I looked up and saw a warthog. Can you believe it! A warthog had been standing in line in front of me at Barnes and Nobel.'
(actually I would rather have called myself an Aye aye, but you might not have a visual of one stored away in your mental encyclopedia.)

It matters not what he saw. It is enough for me that I saw. I fear not what the trees, sunsetting sky, swans gliding across the water, or ocean tide, think of me. I appreciate the moment of glinting, of watching light reflecting off of something. Of a form or of a moment wholy beautiful.

I saw a beautiful man today.

There is no lust in the words, not thoughts of sexiness, or hotness. Not longing. The words form a thought, that just holds itself together in a perfect sphere, meaning nothing more, and nothing less.

I saw a beautiful man today.

I saw a beautiful man today.


strugglingwriter said...

This is a great post. Thank you for sharing. This should count for your NaNoWriMo.

However, I don't remember being in Barnes and Noble... :)

Taffiny said...


Oh good, I'm glad you think it should count, since I haven't started yet.