unpleasant research. Almost done with first edit, but held for a moment suspended over an area that it seems I need to amend. I do not want to however, as reality is interfering with how I prefer to see the scene. And if I do surrender to it, then I must go back and change some things about 5 chapters ago. The area is the death of a character, the exact details of how, and I must resolve it today, as I wish not to be held here, over this space, trying to see it more clearly, any longer. Like it is happening in slow motion, with little alterations made, before it plays before me again. The outcome always the same.

I am thinking about NaNoWriMo. The story I am working on editing, is the one I used NaNo for last year, to help me really focuses my energy and move forward through it. My goal is to be done with the first edit by the last day of October. Then give the work to some family members to read and review. So that I wont be working on this story at all during November, thus will be able to see it with fresher eyes when I do look at it again. What I am wondering is, whether I should take a break in November,
or use NaNo to help me dive right back in with another project? I wouldn't set 50,000 words for the month as my goal, because I know I have a lot of research to do for whichever of the two stories I choose to work on, which is why I thought I wouldn't do NaNo at all, but if I do it, it might help me energize my focus, and make sure I am also writing while I am doing research.
I don't know, guess I better decide soon. :)

Phoctober, I know I haven't been doing it, and I thought and said I would, but..I don't know how much longer I will be able to be home and have the time that affords me to write, so my goal is to finish the story first. And I have been working on that, which feels right to me; I can't let myself feel guilty about that. So that is why I haven't been Phoctobering.