Saturday, August 9, 2008

temporarily up to 88,310 words,
much of it very very very bad.
No flow at all, just sticking things in here and there, hoping that when I go back through later (later beginning anytime from an hour from now, till 10 years from now), I will know what belongs and what doesn't, will be able to toss out a bunch, weave together what is left, and hide all the seams. But the process feels bad right now, like trying to make a cake, and using any ingredient I come upon in the house, "Oh, look flour, peanut butter, pineapple, shrimp, cayenne pepper..." and just dumping it all in, no discernment, scarcely a thought, actively creating a huge mess.
Actively being the word I focus on.
The notion that I am taking some sort of action.
Moving forward? I don't know, but I am attempting to keep going, trying not to give way to standing still.

Soon I shall write here about yesterday, about the patheticness of having my 6 year old niece trying to calm a hyperventilating me down, while we were on a ( very very scary) ferris wheel designed for youngsters, at an amuesment park.
I showed, and she showed much presence of mind, wisdom.


strugglingwriter said...

I look forward to that post. I never liked the ferris wheel very much. I haven't been on one in years, though I'll probably have to confront this fear soon and ride with my daughter.

At least you're writing. I've written my first couple hundred words for this month and feel clumsy.

Taffiny said...


I hope you enjoy all the rides with her. Bob has a great time going on with Cheese. I on the other hand have decided that other than the occasional merry-go-round, I am amusement park ride retired.

I am indeed writing, a lot of very bad writing, I too feel clumsy. But, as you say, at least, we are writing. :)