Sunday, November 29, 2009

I would expect to be in a good mood. I've gotten much farther than I ever thought I would.
But....I'm still not done, and having trouble here at the end. So I am actually pensive, hesitant and petulant. I've got 9 notebooks scattered around me, and none of them have Dusky's back story in them.
I did find some lines concerning him keeping his human memories, and of his feathers becoming darker, but I knew all that, the only other thing is a mention of his hat, apparently very fond of his hat (that I had forgotten). This is not helpful. I really need to know this bit, I remember writing it, it had to do with the women in his life, and it is imporant, because within it was the rationale for the decison he ultimately makes. Which is something I really really really need to know. And when I search my mind for the info, the cupboard is bare.
Search and research is no doubt the answer, look here, there, and everywhere, till I find it, again, or create something else of him/for him.  But over the last two days what I have discovered is how much time research takes, and that while it is definitely important (required), that it wipes me out (physically and emotionally, tired, headache, cranky. Feel like I've spent hours walking up and down the aisles of a huge warehouse, searching in endless boxes, for scrapes of paper hoping one will have written on it, just the piece of information that I need.) before I ever get to the page. So long term insight for me, I suppose this means, writing days, and researching days, are to be different days.

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