46,481
ugh, feel strange, just finished scene(s) I didn't know would be there, which I guess is sort of the point of NaNoWriMo, but I havn't been enjoying the surprises I've written. Usually I know where the story is going, and generally what is going to happen, but when i don't know what happens in a space, and then something I hadn't expected happens, rather than feeling, "wow that was cool the story has a life of its own." I'm feeling this time through like, I don't know what I am doing, or if I should be doing it. Is this scene a real scene, something that really does, should be happening, or is it, just the desperate reachings of a NaNoWriMo-er searching for words, any words?  Well, of course, I don't know, and I wont know till NaNo is over, and I have time to go back over it.  But what really is concerning me, is the tone of the thing, I hate sad stuff, and while the story is certainly romantic, what the heck is up with all the sad stuff happening? Freakin depressing fairytale.