Friday, March 28, 2008
March is almost over, part of me is sad to know this, for I feel like I didn't have March, much of the time seemed to go in ways unmerry, and nonproductive, and I always want and feel I need more time, not less. But the rest of me is happy to move on, closer to warmer days, and hopefully to more merry (no more silly stomach pain, or chest pain, distracting me, and occupying me as I google stuff and try an elimination diet, which did not work for me, except I did decide that I am not having trouble with a category of food).
There aren't any holidays to prepare for in April (St. Patrick's Day pranks went off really well YEAH! Easter was not such a hit, though plenty of work went into it. Cheese didn't like his gifts, and he had trouble finding the eggs hidden outside, and he didn't want to get his hands dirty getting them out of mulch, dirt, grass, or even the mailbox with its possible spiders. He did of course like and appreciate the chocolate, which is good otherwise I fear the Easter bunny might have been incited to declare retirement) so now my time should be more my own, and I intend to be more personally productive with it. I feel like I hit some sort of bump in the road, and let myself be knocked way off track, or came upon a great ditch, and just slide right down into it (instead of working out how to go round), and now I need to find the path again, and take up walking upon it. I just need to gather my energy, find my direction, and set out.
Now what was it I was doing again? Where was I on my way to and why? Wasn't there a song whistling in my heart? What was that tune again? Perhaps if I hum the parts I sort of remember the words will begin to come back to me. If only they would fall upon me like the rain falling outside my window today. The rain softening the ground, and waking the seeds for spring. Words wont you fall on me, over and over, till what is hard in me softens, and gives way, so the planted but ungrown ideas can drink you in, and stories can grow? My umbrella is set down, my face is turned upward, and my heart is open.
rain, rain, rain
wake and inspire