Thursday, December 4, 2008

Researching for the next story
off to a France of long ago
searching for the beginning
but also finding out that which comes before the beginning.
Perhaps finally,
I will learn some history.
In school, I never thought of such information as tinder for igniting my own stories, thus it all went on, blah blah blah, and went away, taking no hold within me. (you would think they would have held meaning for me in and of themselves, as they should,...sometimes.)
Now for me the information holds possibilites, different doors I can walk through, creating different stories, different realities for my characters. And suddenly I am interested in the past, the way a chef is interested in good, fresh, seasonal ingredients. Seeing what I have to work with, getting inspired. Rooting my present idea, into a past it grows out of.
And I'm having fun doing so
...how odd.

I think I really may be picking this up, this habit, this way of life; Writing. I thought perhaps being done (for now anyway) with Echo, I would wander off to other things. But not knowing how long I have till I am forced to get "a real job", I want to create as much as I can of these worlds. It feels weird now to not be working on it. Though I fear it would seem odd to others that this is how I spend my time. You know if neighbors or acquaitances were to ask what I did today, researched the history of France would seem a ridiculous answer. A fine valid answer for a published writer, but something seeming a silly dalliance for one such as myself; one who should rather be focused on homemaking or earning money. But my husand after years of not seeming supportive, somehow suddenly is. I could tell him how I spent my day, and he isn't "wow babe that is fantastic" but he isn't "why didn't you scrub the shower?" either. He wants me to try, he wants me to do this (at least for now.) And my mom is also supportive. I don't think they think of it as my work, as I do; but they know it is what I am doing and they don't tell me not to, they don' tell me I should be doing other things instead. They understand. And for that I am grateful. It makes it easier for me to keep walking down this road, to walk as far, as long, as I can.

5 comments:

Akasha Savage said...

It's always great to get support from the ones you love. My mum has been behind me and my writing eversince I started the craft, and once my hubby realised that my writing wasn't just a flash in the pan hobby, he has been supportive too. It makes all the difference.
As for research - I love that bit -I have learnt so many interesting facts I would never have known if I didn't write. :)

Bee said...

So many good metaphors for historical research! I have been wanting to know more about English history lately, and feel that I should start almost at the beginning -- trying to create some comprehensive mental timeline to replace the sketchy set of facts and anecdotes which are currently stored in my brain.

Writing takes so much time, and it is difficult not to feel that we have to ask permission (even if only of ourselves) for the usage of that time. You seem to feel the compulsion to write -- surely that is the vital thing.

Taffiny said...

Akasha Savage,

I only told my mom last year ( and was really nervous to do so), but her response was great. It does make a big difference. :)

Certainly true; though I do find that these tidbits and facts are often not the sort easily worked into regular conversations; I do like to share my new found info.


Bee,

:) I fear perhaps I mix metaphors but choose to think of it as layering them.

I am often suprised at the vague notions that take the place of actual information in my mind. But I just don't remember things (except for important things like song lyrics). I do seem to grasp concepts more easily now, but long term storage (and retrieval) of information is still um..sketchy at best, and can be nonexistent. It is great that you are going to learn such a timeline. I hope that you enjoy the process.

Yeah. There are always (not matter how much I do) things to be done around the house; and occasionally I worry that I am just wasting my time, and misdirecting energy that could be used to make a better home for my family. But (as you say) I do have the compulsion to write, and there is something vital for me in the activity.
It is something that does take a lot of time, and has no outside validity; it is all for me; bringing nothing to those around me, except that I do think it makes me better, and makes me more me, and gives to my son the example of believing in oneself, and of going forward with a dream, working on what one feels called to do; and of thinking of the ability to pursue such work as a blessing; the process the reward, rather than being valid only if "the world" says so. So I try not to think of it in terms of wasting time, but nevertheless sometimes when waist deep in worlds that do not exist, or tangled up and frustrated with my inabilty to say it right, or find information I "need", I can't help but feeling silly.

Bee said...

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my comment. You are very hard on yourself, you know. You describe things very well!

Taffiny said...

:)